Okay so this has nothing to do with the movie, the song, or the LBGTQ community…the title was simply too cute to pass up. I’m also not a musician/songwriter so please don’t try to sing what I’m about to say – it won’t be pretty. Here goes…
Writing about you is much harder than I anticipated. I find myself becoming a raisin in the bathtub (you’re putting our daughter to bed as I write this) erasing each sentence and starting over because nothing I write can quite express my truth when it comes to you. To us. To the way the corners of our mouths curled up when we turned that corner in front of South Kitchen, and thanked the heavens that we were just as cute in person as we were on our dating profiles. You just get me. In every sense. You get my idiosyncrasies. You get under my skin. You get me going. Even when we can’t seem to make the ridges of our personalities sync, we find a way to keep going. To keep working. Full steam ahead.
You hate the mornings, and God help us all if you get no sleep. You honk at people in traffic five minutes after they’ve passed you. You use a few too many curse words when you stub your toe, and don’t even get me started on how many times I’ve heard the words “Civic Type R.” I could write a damn book about that car, and the Louisville Cardinals. Or Roger Federer, for that matter. Your driving sometimes makes me nauseous, and when I was pregnant you used to push me out of the car so that the bolsters on the seats of your precious Honda S2000 wouldn’t get squished under my ass.
But, how I love you.
How I love you with our baby girl. How I love the way you love me. Even when I feel unlovable. Even when I know you need a break from it all. Not a moment goes by where I doubt it. The love you have for our family. Even when you’re pulling your hair out at 3am because Josie won’t sleep. Even when you’re pulling your hair out Monday – Sunday because I’m a pain in your ass. When I’m needy, impatient, stubborn, prideful, and anxious. There’s you, loving me in spite of all of it.
Without even asking, you change and feed her through the night so I can rest because I am with her all day. While I’m aware that it’s your duty as her dad to take on half of the responsibility, I’m also aware of how lucky she is that she has you. So many little girls don’t have that with their fathers, and the love you show not only her but also me sets the tone for who she will one day choose as a partner. A partner who will one day father her children. Okay, I can’t think about that yet…you get it.
You are gentle enough to know when you’re wrong, but strong enough to stand for what you believe in.
You are kind enough to consider others, often before you consider yourself, but smart enough to know when you’re being taken advantage of.
You are dedicated enough to work to help provide, but equally dedicated to this family and our time together.
You are approachable enough that I know Josie will never fear coming to you, but intimidating enough to know that her boyfriends will.
You are loyal enough that you’d get into dumb Facebook debates about things that you think are stupid in my honor, but courageous enough to let me, or someone else you love, know when we have been wrong or unjust.
I won’t keep you long…er, because I know you’re probably ready to put your phone down and go for a drive or tune up/polish something in your garage. But, if anything know this. Know that this Valentine’s Day I don’t take you for granted. I won’t ask for diamonds, a new bag, or a heartfelt poem written in the sky. I just want you.
Both of you.
Billy, and Jo.